COP3 Practical - Final Premise and/or a Script?

In order to write my script/premise I looked at the previous developments that I had made to refine further. I wanted to make a script however as my story had no dialogue, I found it difficult considering how to change the format of the script to work for my own plot. I researched into two writers that both had different outlooks on writing a premise and a script. Kieron Gillen is a comic writer for Marvel known for his work on Young Avengers and The Wicked + The Divine, even though he writes for comics and not for film/animation, I found his format of writing to be quite inspiring. He uses a key format for each page of panels has its own code for the composition structure. For example:

X = A panel
O = Panel merged with the one next to it
Number = the number of the panel

XX
OO } would be a six panel grid with the last 2 rows being merged
OO

XX
22   } would be a six panel grid with the second row having their own individual panels
OO

I quite liked his format of writing as he noted both the dialogue, the cinematography and the mise - en - scene of the panels. I felt that this format would be quite helpful for my storyboards as it would describe the shot in each frame well, becoming more beneficial than a regular script which depends on dialogue. However comparing Mike Dimartino's, writer from Legend of Korra and Avatar: Legend of Aang, I quite liked how he wrote the premise for the episodes, almost writing them as if it is a chapter from a book. I thought that this would be a more logical approach to creating a form of script for my storyboards as it would apply to both of the boards that I want to create. I also think going to much into cinematography into a script/premise wouldn't be ideal through how the development of the post it notes to thumbnails to beat boards and a rough storyboards, the composition could change and wouldn't work with the premise/script. I want the premise or script to be able to describe the main plot with the characters and the surroundings rather than the look of the frames at this early stage of the process.

Example of  how Gillen writes a script

Dimartino Premise Example

Final Premise (Perspective)

Plot Line:
The Hero and Shadow travel to obtain a rare item from a merchant in a desolate location (shack).
CHARACTERS: Hero, Shadow and Merchant.

Summary:

The clouds crumble as lightning strikes behind a shack surrounded in trees.  Canted angle of the shack as the lightning casts the shack in temporary darkness, the light from the window being the only light source differentiating the shack and its shadow.  Long shot of the shack as the sky lights up, showing the top of the Hero’s and Shadows head.  High angle shot as the Hero and Shadow walk towards the shack, a crow lands on the roof.  Characters look up as the crow caws; zoom into the crow’s eye as lightning strikes again.

BAM

Canted shot as Hero pushes open the heavy oak doors, being silhouettes at first as the lightning strikes behind them. Long shot as Hero and Shadow peer in and look around before stepping foot into the building.  The shack is old and creaky, vintage and aged items are placed everywhere on rows and rows of cabinets. Rain leaks from the roof, the only light source coming from candles and torches on the walls. Med shot as they peer down each aisle of cabinets, they both notice a chest at the end of one of the rows, light emitting from it draws their attention. Med shot as Hero walks past a shelf full of various vials and beakers, as the Hero walks past these his face is distorted slightly. Shadow follows path pulling various faces as he passes the vials.  Cut to a bird’s eye view of the aisle they are walking down, Shadow fazes through both sides of the aisle and floats towards the viewer with a skull on his face (close up).

KRAAAK

Lightning strikes again as they reach the chest that grabbed their attention. The Hero slowly opens the chest; more light is emitted from the chest as the lid is opened. As they are about to peer into the chest again, lightning strikes and a hooded face appears before them. Close up of Hero’s and shadows face as they scream, look at each other and zoom out to a long shot as the Hero falls through the shadow onto the floor. Cut back to the hooded figure, the merchant, med shot as he closes the chest and points to his right. Hero and Shadow follow the direction and look back to see the hooded figure has disappeared.

They walk in the direction that the figure had pointed to, to see a counter with the hooded man standing behind it. As they approach the counter the hooded man points to a chest on a glass cabinet. Hero’s wait in anticipation as the chest is lowered and placed in front of them. Merchant opens the chest slowly, cut between Hero’s faces and a closer shot of the chest multiple times until the chest is opened, cut to an extreme close up of the contents of the chest – Rubber Duck – QUACK – reaction shots of the Hero and Shadow, both flabbergasted.  Shadow laughs and plays with the duck before eating it, whilst Hero looks distraught.